Looking at retirement and it’s staring back at me
I retire in about 10 months. I have mixed feelings about that. I look forward to having some time for myself to fiddle around not doing very much.
But I look at much that I would like to accomplish for my program. I could probably accomplish more of it now, but thoughts of retirement have an innervating effect on my moving forward energetically on projects or venturing into new areas.
Still, I feel like I have become a better teacher over the last few years. I flipped some of my classes about 5 years ago and keep doing so sometimes in a sort of slapdash way, or so it seems to me. My teaching seems to have improved. I feel more connection to my students and see them succeeding although sometimes only on the second attempt at the class. Sometimes, I feel I am at the top of my game. The reality though is that my hearing loss continues little by little, and I miss more each year or make students feel bad when I make them repeat more than once.
The grading and grind of preparing will not be missed and the trepidation about whether I am prepared enough or have the right formula for this class will be gladly put away. I think so anyway. However, the creating of a new lesson, creating a new project will be sorely missed. Even staring at my retirement, I spent tonight preparing a new type of vocabulary practice that I want to use tomorrow. Last week, I created an email writing assignment for my students that went pretty well.
And though I am the titular head of my program, I wonder will anyone use any of these activities I worked on so enthusiastically?