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Looking at retirement and it’s staring back at me

January 31, 2017

I retire in about 10 months.  I have mixed feelings about that.  I look forward to having some time for myself to fiddle around not doing very much.

But I look at much that I would like to accomplish for my program.  I could probably accomplish more of it now, but thoughts of retirement have an innervating effect on my moving forward energetically on projects or venturing into new areas.

Still, I feel like I have become a better teacher over the last few years.  I flipped some of my classes about 5 years ago and keep doing so sometimes in a sort of slapdash way, or so it seems to me.  My teaching seems to have improved.  I feel more connection to my students and see them succeeding although sometimes only on the second attempt at the class.   Sometimes, I feel I am at the top of my game.  The reality though is that my hearing loss continues little by little, and I miss more each year or make students feel bad when I make them repeat more than once.

The grading and grind of preparing will not be missed and the trepidation about whether I am prepared enough or have the right formula for this class will be gladly put away. I think so anyway.  However, the creating of a new lesson, creating a new project will be sorely missed.  Even staring at my retirement, I spent tonight preparing a new type of vocabulary practice that I want to use tomorrow.  Last week, I created an email writing assignment for my students that went pretty well.

And though I am the titular head of my program, I wonder will anyone use any of these activities I worked on so enthusiastically?

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